


A square cube into a round point

by Silver33650



Category: Fortnite (Video Game)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Fluff and Crack, Humor, Implied Relationships, Other, Swearing, Undercover Missions, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:28:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29456745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silver33650/pseuds/Silver33650
Summary: Jules receives a secret quest during Valentine's Day and runs around the island trying to complete it.
Kudos: 4





	A square cube into a round point

**Author's Note:**

> the challenge was to ship the cube and the zero point and I tried my best, damn it, but I don't usually write this kind of thing

Once upon a time it was Valentine's Day on the island and there weren't even any special challenges. This was generally regarded as a bad choice that made a lot of people very angry, and so a reward was awkwardly appended to the epic quests for that week. That being said, the epic quests did involve a statistically significant amount of romance, so perhaps it was for the best. 

Jules, for example, was certainly having a splendid time trying to catch fish off the coast of Steamy Stacks. She had just finished the quest stage and was heading over to the Stacks to fly out for the next stage when she heard someone calling her name. She looked around but didn't see anyone, and finally the voice said, "Down here," for it was coming from the bubbling purple sludge at the bottom of the Stacks. 

"It is I, Kevin, the avatar of darkness, the storm, and unexpected barbershop quartet serenades," it said. "I am hoping you could help me reunite with the love of my life, the Zero Point, for Chaos Agent has me working at all hours of the day and I cannot reach the Zero Point from the ground."

Jules found this to be a remarkable request, for Chaos Agent was kind of her boss and she did not like the idea of upsetting him. However, he was also kind of a dick, and Jules did like the idea of having a secret mission to complete, as it made her feel like a spy, and there were certain people in her life who enjoyed reminding her that she was not a spy. 

So Jules decided to accept Kevin's mission, and went back to fishing to try to catch a rift fish, as she figured it was the easiest way to get Kevin up to the Zero Point. But she could not find any and wondered if it was because she was using a normal fishing rod. She figured an upgrade would help, and thus flew over to Dirty Docks to see Brutus. 

However, just as she was reaching his building, she was nearly hit by a sniper bullet, and looked around to try to find the assailant. But he found her first, calling out an apology as he jumped off the roof, for it was Midas. 

"What are you doing here?" Jules asked. 

"I am eliminating anyone who attempts to deliver Brutus chocolates for this week's quest," Midas said.

"That's adorable."

"No, it's necessary, for he has allergies and these festive containers value decoration over description. I am merely hoping to prevent any unfortunate accidents."

"Uh huh," Jules said skeptically. "Sure. Anyway I'm here for a weapon upgrade, not that."

"Then don't let me stop you," he said, building a ramp to get back on the roof.

So Jules entered the building and found Brutus sitting on the stairs looking bored, though he perked up when he spotted her. "Business has been slow lately," he said. "Any idea why?"

"Nope," Jules said quickly, and handed over some bars and her fishing rod for the upgrade. "Thanks. I'm hoping to catch a rift fish."

"You didn't hear? Those are disabled currently."

"Fuck," said Jules. "I guess I'll need a new plan." Then, because she was feeling particularly salty at that moment, she added, "And Midas is the one sabotaging your business. He's on the roof."

This greatly angered Brutus, who immediately headed up to said roof with his submachine gun out. Jules didn't stick around to see how that turned out, but it did seem to involve at least some bullets. 

Instead she headed over to Catty Corner to see Kit, who was also an engineering genius and thus was useful for bouncing off ideas. However, when she arrived, Jules found Lynx feeding Kit what appeared to be chocolates, and quickly grew concerned. 

"Oh, these aren't chocolates," Lynx explained. "They're catnip treats. I can see why you'd be confused, though, sorry."

"That's okay," Jules said. "Do you have any thoughts on how to get up to the Zero Point without a rift?"

"Just build?"

"I don't think that will work in this case," Jules said, thinking of how Kevin could demolish builds. 

"You could try stealing Agent Jonesy's rift gun."

Jules considered that and decided it was worth a shot, and headed for Hunter's Haven since Kit was too high on catnip to make any suggestions of his own. She found Lexa in her rooms. "Hi Lexa," Jules said, "I need to steal Agent Jonesy's rift gun."

"Oh, I know that one," Lexa said. "My dad says that if you kill all the hunter characters in the same match, you'll get Agent Jonesy's mythic rift gun."

"Great," Jules said, "I'll start with you." So Jules shot Lexa, but then sighed, because she didn't want to go around the whole island doing that, especially since storm phases had a habit of not being in her favor. So instead she went to the nearby hunters to ask about other ways to get Agent Jonesy's rift gun, but none of them were very helpful. Mancake kept trying to give her coupons to the Butter Barn, and Menace kept trying to duel her, and then there was the Mandalorian, who shot at anything that moved, forcing her to hide in the sand every time she had to pass him. Eventually she just ambushed him so that she wouldn't have to deal with him anymore. After she killed him, she picked up the rifle, but then her eyes widened when she turned to the jetpack. _That's it._

And so Jules triumphantly returned to Steamy Stacks and presented Kevin with the jetpack. He emerged from the Stacks and thanked her profusely, then flew off towards the Zero Point as Jules watched fondly. She was a true spy after all. 

However, it did not take long for Chaos Agent to find out about this, and he was extremely upset with her. "We had plans," he lamented. 

"Plans to undermine the Imagined Order and destroy Ghost?" Jules asked eagerly. 

"No, dinner plans," Chaos Agent said. "Now get out of my sight."

Jules was rather depressed, and left Steamy Stacks rather dejected. But Midas found her as she was leaving. "There you are," he said. "I've been looking all over for you." He presented her with a box of chocolates. "These are all the ones that Brutus doesn- er, can't eat."

"Thank you," Jules said, for she was truly touched. "This is the nicest thing you've ever done for me."

"Sure," Midas said. "I give you enough funding to build a weather machine, but this is the nicest thing I've ever done for you. Right. Enjoy your chocolates."

And so Jules enjoyed her chocolates while blissfully unaware that Kevin had only wanted to enter the Zero Point to create dark variants of every fictional character in existence, adding so many new outfits to the item shop that it crashed the Loop and attracted the attention of the Seven. 

The end. 

**Author's Note:**

> I actually wanted to give my chocolates to Kondor, but ended up giving them to Brutus anyway. my duo partner and I have a habit of landing at Dirty, so...


End file.
